they made it far too easy to believe that true romance can't be achieved these days

Sometimes I feel like I am saving myself up for something that will never come. Worst of all, I think that everything makes sense and I can always figure out everything. I always explain to myself every little thing that is happening to me. Everything happens for a reason, right? But, couldn't I just be wrong? Could I really let go of my ego and convince myself that I'm not a lost jewel in the sea? That I'm not special?
I am not trying to say that I want to stop believing in myself. I just think that I need to start letting people in. It's funny how I'm writing this and I'm telling myself that I can never make the little introvert in me disappear. But what if I could? Would it really hurt me to be more open and more concerned about others? I really would like to try this approach but my insecurities stop me, in a ways that I don't even notice anymore. I think that the thick skin I grew during these past four years is to my benefit. But why don't I still feel good even when I stopped letting people hurt me? What does it take for a person to be satisfied with his or her life? Is it love?
Maybe, it is not wrong to let someone to love you, and at the same time for you to love them back. I shouldn't wait for life to happen, I should make it boil with excitement myself. Even though, when I'm at my lowest, believing that I don't deserve to be loved or wanted, even then, I should not stop believing.
To be honest, I'm trying to be deep and shit but I know that I'm not. I have too many fucking thoughts in my mind that I can never piece together. Then, I just end up writing some shity ass blog entry that doesn't change anything.
It's all the same, everyday.

Welcome Back

Well, I haven't posted anything in a long time and a lot of things have happened. I'm in high school now, a sophomore. That's probably the biggest change. Also, I'm pretty much satisfied with the stage I'm in right now. Today, I thought of reading my previous posts, and God was I a weird cookie. Actually, I started posting here three years ago, right before I moved from Lithuania to America, and that was a huge change for me. Only, now I'm starting to feel like I somewhat belong here. Of course, the biggest change it's probably that I am not depressed anymore because during these past three years I was in a deep depression, without even knowing it. Anyways, I still can't really talk about it because only a thought of it makes me wanna cry. I'd rather think positive things.
Here's my face for the ending!

And I'll try to post more often from now on. Well, if I want to...